I probably shouldn't be all too surprised with the number of people that based their presentations on "how do we know ourselves," but I couldn't help but feel a bit of shock. What I imagined as a serious academic presentation ended up as a sort of "show and tell." Everyone brought a little bit of themselves to share with the group, and then sat back to take in the rest of the presentations. It amazes me what all has been brought to the table. So many personal things that I'd never care to share in front of a group of my peers, yet many of you boldly went up and delved into yourselves, bringing up a deep and delicate fact for everyone to hear. That really speaks for the group as a whole. I think it's inspiring that though we might not all be BFFs, we care enough and have enough trust to be able to bring up deep stuff like that and be there for each other. We've really subconsciously developed into a family.
The question used was "how do we know ourselves?" Presenters then went into detail about a hardship or experience they dealt with and how that experience shaped them. Discussions have come to a bit of a standstill, as everyone is just repeating the same things stated in previous discussions. At this point, we're all seniors. We've all had a lot to deal with in life, some of it good and some of it bad. Every experience we have shapes us in some way. The scale varies, but the change still occurs. After 17 or 18 years, I wonder how one could not know themselves after all of those experiences. Granted, the whole you has yet to develop, but you'd think you'd know a basic framework at least.
That last comment was probably awful.
I don't have anything to ask here. I just wanted to thank everyone for sharing pieces of themselves.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
A Glimpse at Reality
A picture is worth a thousand words. A video is comprised of millions of pictures. Real life is an infinitely changing picture, which is in essence many pictures. In that case, would watching a movie that was about photographs be worth infinitely much? And if words often mean nothing, does that mean that all of that is worth nothing too?
Since the dawn of time, people have tried to figure each other out. The only thoughts we truly know are the ones we have (and even those can be kinda sketchy sometimes), so the mystery of someone else's mind can be rather impossible to ever know. In the course of my life, I've found that words and actions can both be faked. However, the closest thing to incorruptible I know of seems to be reactions. Reactions, to me, seem to be short instinctive bursts of a person's true views on whatever they're reacting to. These can be as simple as a look, a twitch, or as complicated as a drawing inspired by whatever inspired them. Now this is not meant to discredit all words or actions, or say that every reaction is genuine - just that I've found reactions to be telling signs of people's character.
...well this is weird.
I rarely write stuff like this. I think I need to write something else to balance this out. But at the same time, I realize exactly what I've written. My mind has many innerworkings, as does every mind, and this sort of thought is very constant in my head. It's become increasingly rare that I express this particular thought process externally, however, as I just don't have time. Fortunately I still have a tiny bit of time to think. Thinking is one of my favorite things about being a human. It would seem most other animals are ruled by instincts, but humans have the power of free thought. What a gift that is! Entire universes can coexist inside the brain that created them. Real-life and imaginary can meet and create inspiration. A mind can function as a workshop of ideas, generating thousands per second. The human mind is an absolutely fascinating thing, and it almost makes me want to go into neurology. But then I might have to look at brains...eww.
Perhaps the most useless function of the human mind is the insane ability to overthink literally everything that ever happens. Mine seems to love this skill, and revels in every layer it adds to the simplicity of having a brain and being alive. Weird.
There are a lot of questions that could stem from this topic, so...any questions?
Since the dawn of time, people have tried to figure each other out. The only thoughts we truly know are the ones we have (and even those can be kinda sketchy sometimes), so the mystery of someone else's mind can be rather impossible to ever know. In the course of my life, I've found that words and actions can both be faked. However, the closest thing to incorruptible I know of seems to be reactions. Reactions, to me, seem to be short instinctive bursts of a person's true views on whatever they're reacting to. These can be as simple as a look, a twitch, or as complicated as a drawing inspired by whatever inspired them. Now this is not meant to discredit all words or actions, or say that every reaction is genuine - just that I've found reactions to be telling signs of people's character.
...well this is weird.
I rarely write stuff like this. I think I need to write something else to balance this out. But at the same time, I realize exactly what I've written. My mind has many innerworkings, as does every mind, and this sort of thought is very constant in my head. It's become increasingly rare that I express this particular thought process externally, however, as I just don't have time. Fortunately I still have a tiny bit of time to think. Thinking is one of my favorite things about being a human. It would seem most other animals are ruled by instincts, but humans have the power of free thought. What a gift that is! Entire universes can coexist inside the brain that created them. Real-life and imaginary can meet and create inspiration. A mind can function as a workshop of ideas, generating thousands per second. The human mind is an absolutely fascinating thing, and it almost makes me want to go into neurology. But then I might have to look at brains...eww.
Perhaps the most useless function of the human mind is the insane ability to overthink literally everything that ever happens. Mine seems to love this skill, and revels in every layer it adds to the simplicity of having a brain and being alive. Weird.
There are a lot of questions that could stem from this topic, so...any questions?
Monday, November 26, 2012
First World Problems
I hold a certain amount of disdain for Microsoft. I've always been an Apple guy and never learned how to properly operate a Windows computer, but had never really had any true animosity towards Microsoft until...the incident.
I own an Xbox 260. I don't play online because it costs money, and own only 4 games - one of these was a gift and one is my dad's. I have two controllers instead of the usual four, and try to make it as cost-effective as possible. Now I am frustrated by how much all of these things cost, but I haven't really complained. I accepted the fact that I get what I pay for and moved on.
Recently, I bought Halo 4, also known as the greatest non-Nintendo game ever. It comes with two discs, one of which needs to be installed onto the Xbox hard drive. Unfortunately, my Xbox does not have enough starting memory to install the disc, meaning that I cannot play any multiplayer games. I've already beaten the campaign, and additional memory is going to cost money. Which frustrates me immensely. I mean, I bought the danged game but I can't play it without spending more? There has to be something wrong with that, right?
Well, that was the most superficial thing I've ever posted. Hopefully I won't write anything dumb like this again.
I own an Xbox 260. I don't play online because it costs money, and own only 4 games - one of these was a gift and one is my dad's. I have two controllers instead of the usual four, and try to make it as cost-effective as possible. Now I am frustrated by how much all of these things cost, but I haven't really complained. I accepted the fact that I get what I pay for and moved on.
Recently, I bought Halo 4, also known as the greatest non-Nintendo game ever. It comes with two discs, one of which needs to be installed onto the Xbox hard drive. Unfortunately, my Xbox does not have enough starting memory to install the disc, meaning that I cannot play any multiplayer games. I've already beaten the campaign, and additional memory is going to cost money. Which frustrates me immensely. I mean, I bought the danged game but I can't play it without spending more? There has to be something wrong with that, right?
Well, that was the most superficial thing I've ever posted. Hopefully I won't write anything dumb like this again.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
The End is Near
Well, it happened again. I became too caught up in the world to post (either that or I kept forgetting. One of the two). But as you might have guessed, I'm here to talk about the end.
Today my mind is thinking in terms of ending. Thanksgiving break has ended, meaning a return to the drudgery that is school. My IA is done, lifting a huge weight off of my chest, but the fact that the tri is only near its end means I have to recover from my slacker-ness and figure stuff out. The year is almost over, which in all honesty means nothing to me (maybe I'll have a New Year's party or something). The world is about to end, if we're to believe the Mayans. Most of all, however, is the fact that for most of the people reading this, high school ends in less than a year. This last one, I believe, is the most important.
High school has by far been the most important time of my life to date (as it should be). However, I've realized that much of high school isn't really about the education. It's about learning how to learn, developing good habits and skills, and as a place to find yourself. Granted, all of these can be said about college as well, but it's important to at least get a sense of each of these before you go. After high school, life won't get any easier until retirement (which by the time most of us retire will probably be at age 80). This is as easy as it's going to get.
I've been thinking a lot about myself lately, which is kind of conceited. I have a habit of reflecting on myself a lot and just pondering everything that's happened to me. A friend recently brought something I had written last year into focus. I was a much different person in so many bad ways. Plagued by doubt, depression, thoughts of suicide, and an overwhelming amount of stress, I was not in the best of places. And yet, somehow, something clicked. The sadness and suicide went away, and though the doubt remained it wasn't nearly as strong. Though my disdain of school remained, I "bucked up" and started doing work again. I became very close friends with two of the unlikeliest people - one whom I hated in middle school, and one whom I probably never would have talked to were it not for her decision to do full IB and her rather eccentric brother.
Looking even farther back, to that horrid place known as middle school, there is even more change. In all honesty, I was a complete and utter ass in middle school. I had no purpose, no real friends, and most notably no real connection to music. I floated through, not really trying in any aspect except to be liked. This, in my mind, meant fighting my way to the top and sucking up to those already there.
If I could go back in time and slap myself silly, there's a large possibility I'd do it.
Interesting. As I'm writing this, my mom decided to play the song "What a Wonderful World."
I was also a very nervous person in those days. I wanted no dirt on me, so I hid or suppressed much of who I was, trying to control it. I became exactly what middle school is designed to create - an ass. Sorry JMS, but I have no fond memories of you and am glad I don't have to go back.
With the help of a very powerful youth director and an opportunity to join theatre, I found something I had never had before - a community that accepted me for me. This would eventually blossom into long-lasting friendships, an extra-curricular I actually enjoyed, and the beginning of the road to where I am today. Now, as the end approaches, I can look back on all of this with a smile. Whether the smile is spiteful or not, it's relieving.
Some endings in life have been good, and some have been bad. Some have come exactly when scheduled, and some have jumped out of the blue to throw me off. The end of this blog post, which I believe I'm about to reach, is very welcome considering the day ended 51 minutes ago.
This will not be the last blog post. The title says "The End is Near," not "The End is Here." I think I might like to continue blogging, too. That might be fun.
Today's question is a simple one: as your senior year is coming to an end, just look back on how far you've come. If you feel so inclined, write about it. I think this could be very interesting, and I'm excited to see what people say.
Today my mind is thinking in terms of ending. Thanksgiving break has ended, meaning a return to the drudgery that is school. My IA is done, lifting a huge weight off of my chest, but the fact that the tri is only near its end means I have to recover from my slacker-ness and figure stuff out. The year is almost over, which in all honesty means nothing to me (maybe I'll have a New Year's party or something). The world is about to end, if we're to believe the Mayans. Most of all, however, is the fact that for most of the people reading this, high school ends in less than a year. This last one, I believe, is the most important.
High school has by far been the most important time of my life to date (as it should be). However, I've realized that much of high school isn't really about the education. It's about learning how to learn, developing good habits and skills, and as a place to find yourself. Granted, all of these can be said about college as well, but it's important to at least get a sense of each of these before you go. After high school, life won't get any easier until retirement (which by the time most of us retire will probably be at age 80). This is as easy as it's going to get.
I've been thinking a lot about myself lately, which is kind of conceited. I have a habit of reflecting on myself a lot and just pondering everything that's happened to me. A friend recently brought something I had written last year into focus. I was a much different person in so many bad ways. Plagued by doubt, depression, thoughts of suicide, and an overwhelming amount of stress, I was not in the best of places. And yet, somehow, something clicked. The sadness and suicide went away, and though the doubt remained it wasn't nearly as strong. Though my disdain of school remained, I "bucked up" and started doing work again. I became very close friends with two of the unlikeliest people - one whom I hated in middle school, and one whom I probably never would have talked to were it not for her decision to do full IB and her rather eccentric brother.
Looking even farther back, to that horrid place known as middle school, there is even more change. In all honesty, I was a complete and utter ass in middle school. I had no purpose, no real friends, and most notably no real connection to music. I floated through, not really trying in any aspect except to be liked. This, in my mind, meant fighting my way to the top and sucking up to those already there.
If I could go back in time and slap myself silly, there's a large possibility I'd do it.
Interesting. As I'm writing this, my mom decided to play the song "What a Wonderful World."
I was also a very nervous person in those days. I wanted no dirt on me, so I hid or suppressed much of who I was, trying to control it. I became exactly what middle school is designed to create - an ass. Sorry JMS, but I have no fond memories of you and am glad I don't have to go back.
With the help of a very powerful youth director and an opportunity to join theatre, I found something I had never had before - a community that accepted me for me. This would eventually blossom into long-lasting friendships, an extra-curricular I actually enjoyed, and the beginning of the road to where I am today. Now, as the end approaches, I can look back on all of this with a smile. Whether the smile is spiteful or not, it's relieving.
Some endings in life have been good, and some have been bad. Some have come exactly when scheduled, and some have jumped out of the blue to throw me off. The end of this blog post, which I believe I'm about to reach, is very welcome considering the day ended 51 minutes ago.
This will not be the last blog post. The title says "The End is Near," not "The End is Here." I think I might like to continue blogging, too. That might be fun.
Today's question is a simple one: as your senior year is coming to an end, just look back on how far you've come. If you feel so inclined, write about it. I think this could be very interesting, and I'm excited to see what people say.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Placebo
Before you even say anything - yes, I am being a tad hypocritical with this simultaneous posts. In my defense, this is the first time my schedule has allowed me to think this week, and everything I'm talking stems from today or yesterday.
I wear a cross necklace every day. It's a rather simple cross, carved from some sort of wood by a man in Honduras. It was a gift from my grandpa, who went there doing mission work. My sister and all of my cousins on my mom's side have one, but I am the only one who consistently wears it. I wear it not to mark me as a Christian but to help me remember that I am one and act like one (something I don't always do). The ELCA Lutheran way is to love everyone, and in weeks such as this one I can become significantly less than loving.
Anywho, I hadn't worn said cross for about 2 weeks because the cord had come apart and was unusable. I hadn't asked my mom to fix it because she has been nearly as busy as I have, and hadn't done it myself because I'm afraid to dig in mom's bottomless room of crafting materials looking for one little piece of string. During the entirety of this state of limbo, I felt as if something was missing. I don't know what that thing was, but it set me on edge. Last night, I arrived home at 10:37 at night after a preview show to find that my necklace had been fixed. I put it on, of course, and immediately felt a sense of calm wash over me. I felt more like myself again, and as if I was back in control of my life. I have no idea how a little piece of wood can do something like that, but it certainly did last night (don't you DARE go there).
From my own experiences, I've found that simple faith in something can be one of the most powerful forces known to man. Religion is the largest and most obvious of these, being entirely based on faith - even taking the name of "faith" in some cases. I hold a lot of faith in my religious beliefs, which influences all aspects of my life to some extent. I hadn't ever really held any large belief involving my cross, but it certainly seems to make me feel better when I wear it. What is this feeling? It could be God reaching out, but it could just as easily be a placebo. This simple feeling translates into religion as a whole. Certain feelings felt attributed as the Holy Spirit moving in people could just as likely be a placebo, and vise versa. This, of course, is much more serious than my little cross issue, but it's something to ponder nonetheless.
What did I feel? I couldn't tell ya. But if you have any similar experiences with this sort of feeling (whether they be religious-based or not) I invite you to share them. Give your opinion on the matter if you like. We could all use this to develop a broadened understanding on this issue.
I wear a cross necklace every day. It's a rather simple cross, carved from some sort of wood by a man in Honduras. It was a gift from my grandpa, who went there doing mission work. My sister and all of my cousins on my mom's side have one, but I am the only one who consistently wears it. I wear it not to mark me as a Christian but to help me remember that I am one and act like one (something I don't always do). The ELCA Lutheran way is to love everyone, and in weeks such as this one I can become significantly less than loving.
Anywho, I hadn't worn said cross for about 2 weeks because the cord had come apart and was unusable. I hadn't asked my mom to fix it because she has been nearly as busy as I have, and hadn't done it myself because I'm afraid to dig in mom's bottomless room of crafting materials looking for one little piece of string. During the entirety of this state of limbo, I felt as if something was missing. I don't know what that thing was, but it set me on edge. Last night, I arrived home at 10:37 at night after a preview show to find that my necklace had been fixed. I put it on, of course, and immediately felt a sense of calm wash over me. I felt more like myself again, and as if I was back in control of my life. I have no idea how a little piece of wood can do something like that, but it certainly did last night (don't you DARE go there).
From my own experiences, I've found that simple faith in something can be one of the most powerful forces known to man. Religion is the largest and most obvious of these, being entirely based on faith - even taking the name of "faith" in some cases. I hold a lot of faith in my religious beliefs, which influences all aspects of my life to some extent. I hadn't ever really held any large belief involving my cross, but it certainly seems to make me feel better when I wear it. What is this feeling? It could be God reaching out, but it could just as easily be a placebo. This simple feeling translates into religion as a whole. Certain feelings felt attributed as the Holy Spirit moving in people could just as likely be a placebo, and vise versa. This, of course, is much more serious than my little cross issue, but it's something to ponder nonetheless.
What did I feel? I couldn't tell ya. But if you have any similar experiences with this sort of feeling (whether they be religious-based or not) I invite you to share them. Give your opinion on the matter if you like. We could all use this to develop a broadened understanding on this issue.
I Shouldn't Be Alive
Well, I made it. The so-called "Hell Week" of the musical is over, and finally the show opens tonight. No more rehearsals from after school until 10 with a mere 45 minutes of dinner break - I get to go home tonight and rest.
Or I would, except I have way too much to do.
This busy week has utterly offset my schedule. Voice lessons, piano lessons, and Senior Choir at church were not even a considerable option this week. Hanging out with friends - even less of an option. Worst of all, I found little energy or time for homework. In a world where every class and activity tells you that it is your priority, I felt as if 4 trains were pulling me apart. With all of the vehicle analogies being used by my teachers, this ironic feeling was just another mound of dirt on my grave. This concept of "everything is your top priority" is one of the most frustrating things to me, and this isn't even taking into account that I might have things I want to do. It's all very overwhelming for an easily-stressed high school kid that still needs to fill out college applications.
Today in Spanish, however, I saw a glimmer of light. Knowing I didn't have rehearsal today was a plus, but the kicker was something I had been missing for a long time.
We got to color.
I've always liked drawing, and I'd been feeling rather deprived of late as I hadn't drawn in quite some time. I also hadn't felt any inspiration in even longer. As I looked at the Dia de los Muertos skull, I saw a familiar face - the Joker - forming in my mind. This led to me coloring Joker, Batman, and Bane in skull form. It was just nice - no pressure, no goal, no time limit, a positive outcome. This is something that is very healthy for me, and it is unhealthy to not do. I've always felt that leaving myself time for activities like this should be a priority for me, but anything I want to do always comes second. The outside world doesn't care what your meager wishes are - it is your priority.
Here's my question:
What is better - listening to your heart or your mind?
This can be answered in relation to this blog post or not. Your choice.
Or I would, except I have way too much to do.
This busy week has utterly offset my schedule. Voice lessons, piano lessons, and Senior Choir at church were not even a considerable option this week. Hanging out with friends - even less of an option. Worst of all, I found little energy or time for homework. In a world where every class and activity tells you that it is your priority, I felt as if 4 trains were pulling me apart. With all of the vehicle analogies being used by my teachers, this ironic feeling was just another mound of dirt on my grave. This concept of "everything is your top priority" is one of the most frustrating things to me, and this isn't even taking into account that I might have things I want to do. It's all very overwhelming for an easily-stressed high school kid that still needs to fill out college applications.
Today in Spanish, however, I saw a glimmer of light. Knowing I didn't have rehearsal today was a plus, but the kicker was something I had been missing for a long time.
We got to color.
I've always liked drawing, and I'd been feeling rather deprived of late as I hadn't drawn in quite some time. I also hadn't felt any inspiration in even longer. As I looked at the Dia de los Muertos skull, I saw a familiar face - the Joker - forming in my mind. This led to me coloring Joker, Batman, and Bane in skull form. It was just nice - no pressure, no goal, no time limit, a positive outcome. This is something that is very healthy for me, and it is unhealthy to not do. I've always felt that leaving myself time for activities like this should be a priority for me, but anything I want to do always comes second. The outside world doesn't care what your meager wishes are - it is your priority.
Here's my question:
What is better - listening to your heart or your mind?
This can be answered in relation to this blog post or not. Your choice.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Thursday Night Lights
Good morning, everyone! Happy Friday!
The lights of the previous night and the lights of the early morning are one in the same for me and many of you. Sleep is quite the luxury when you're swamped by homework, stress, and ideas. My typical bedtime is around 12:30 AM, and my usual wake-up time is 6:10 AM. By any health standard, I'm sorely depriving myself of sleep. I know I can change this, yet I don't. Why? First of all, I'm a night person - you won't see me waiting for any sunrises in the near future. I may not think any more clearly at night, but I can manage better in the quiet darkness and with an already warmed-up brain (which makes it easier to just pump out homework). I also don't want to waste the time sleeping. I have a lot of stuff I'd like to do along with what I have to do, so finding time for my own priorities usually means losing sleep. This most likely leads to more stress, which in turn means less sleep.
In one of my classes I find it particularly hard to keep my eyes open and my head up. The room is so warm, and that warmth combined with having just eaten lunch makes for a very tired me. My teacher discussed this trend with my mom at conferences, and informed her of the numerous studies taken that document a teenager's need for sleep. Incidentally, this amount totals up to more than an infant. The point? We're all screwing ourselves over. Or perhaps the system is. We're not really left the time for sleep. Extra-curriculars are often considered mandatory to get into a good college, and are generally a good thing to do. They are healthy in many different aspects, depending on the activity. These activities push homework (and therefore sleep) later and later. Perhaps this system should be rethought so that we can all perform at peak capacity for everything we do. Or maybe I'm just really tired and have a need to ramble. Only reading this mess of words will tell.
The lights of the previous night and the lights of the early morning are one in the same for me and many of you. Sleep is quite the luxury when you're swamped by homework, stress, and ideas. My typical bedtime is around 12:30 AM, and my usual wake-up time is 6:10 AM. By any health standard, I'm sorely depriving myself of sleep. I know I can change this, yet I don't. Why? First of all, I'm a night person - you won't see me waiting for any sunrises in the near future. I may not think any more clearly at night, but I can manage better in the quiet darkness and with an already warmed-up brain (which makes it easier to just pump out homework). I also don't want to waste the time sleeping. I have a lot of stuff I'd like to do along with what I have to do, so finding time for my own priorities usually means losing sleep. This most likely leads to more stress, which in turn means less sleep.
In one of my classes I find it particularly hard to keep my eyes open and my head up. The room is so warm, and that warmth combined with having just eaten lunch makes for a very tired me. My teacher discussed this trend with my mom at conferences, and informed her of the numerous studies taken that document a teenager's need for sleep. Incidentally, this amount totals up to more than an infant. The point? We're all screwing ourselves over. Or perhaps the system is. We're not really left the time for sleep. Extra-curriculars are often considered mandatory to get into a good college, and are generally a good thing to do. They are healthy in many different aspects, depending on the activity. These activities push homework (and therefore sleep) later and later. Perhaps this system should be rethought so that we can all perform at peak capacity for everything we do. Or maybe I'm just really tired and have a need to ramble. Only reading this mess of words will tell.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Blogging for a cause
In my blogging, brainstorm frenzy the other day, I ended up scouring the blog feed to see what other people had posted. I noticed a very strange phenomenon - most people's blog posts all seemed to be rather clumped together, as if they had crammed for a last-minute deadline. A lot of what was written was quality stuff, no doubt, but I felt like it took away from the integrity and purpose of the blogs and what they should be. I just don't think it's ethical to have revelations on a regularly scheduled basis. What do you think?
Monday, October 22, 2012
Do you hear what I hear?
First of all - 2 in a row! Putting Blogger on my bookmark bar was the best idea I've had in a while.
Second - this is not going to be about Christmas. Sorry for those of you whose dreams I just crushed (although it's freaking October. Enjoy the current season, why don't ya?)
Third, and most importantly - I want to share my love with the world.
I was listening to recordings of different settings of Ubi Caritas for my EE, when I came across a Youtube comment on one of them. The person had mistook the version I was listening to (by Durufle) for the one performed at the royal wedding (by Mealor). It had never occurred to me that the difference wouldn't be obvious. In my mind and to my ear, the two pieces are profoundly different. It's moments like these that make me wonder, though. I have no idea what and how people hear different things. If people don't like choral music (or any genre, for that matter) that's fine. I just don't think it's fair to judge music unless you truly know how to listen to it. I don't really like country, but working in a saloon-themed bar at the fair gave me new memories to go with it and a new appreciation for the music (as it was the only thing to listen to). That fair experience also made me hate a lot of pop music, as the Stratosphere ride blasted it at ungodly volumes less than 100 feet away from my kitchen. I was never a fan of rap (no pitches) until listening to Christian rap artist Agape at the Lutheran National Youth Gathering in New Orleans this past summer. This, combined with my many percussionist friends, led me to develop a new appreciation for rap. The often intricate rhythms, flowing lyrics, and intense vocal control needed are insane. Likewise, I feel there must be a key to open one's mind to choral and classical music. I don't know what that is, but I'll make it my quest to find it.
At the same time, I realize that I may be a...special case. I don't usually like loud things and high-intensity/stress environments. It physically hurts and drains me. I draw my energy from calm, quiet, and often secluded places (thus classifying me by some definitions as an introvert). I've always been sensitive to noise and volume. I developed perfect pitch somehow (maybe I was born with it, maybe not). I love birds for many reasons, and listen to the noises and calls they make. I like listening to what people have to say much more than I enjoy reading it - hearing the words they speak helps me to better understand what they're saying. I guess I'm just in tune with sound. With my senses of sight, taste, and smell dulled by the wonders of the gene pool, it makes sense that my sense of hearing would be better. But I don't always like it. I can't share it in a way that can help others hear what I hear. I wish I could.
This long ramble leads me to some questions:
1. What is your strongest sense?
2. How do you hear? (answer in any way you like)
3. What is your favorite/least favorite genre of music, and why?
4. Where do you get your energy? (I want to talk about this one later, so give me good stuff to use)
Hopefully this whole blogging thing takes deeper root in my already crowded mind. If I don't blog for a while, remind me to. My grade could use the boost, I'm sure.
Second - this is not going to be about Christmas. Sorry for those of you whose dreams I just crushed (although it's freaking October. Enjoy the current season, why don't ya?)
Third, and most importantly - I want to share my love with the world.
I was listening to recordings of different settings of Ubi Caritas for my EE, when I came across a Youtube comment on one of them. The person had mistook the version I was listening to (by Durufle) for the one performed at the royal wedding (by Mealor). It had never occurred to me that the difference wouldn't be obvious. In my mind and to my ear, the two pieces are profoundly different. It's moments like these that make me wonder, though. I have no idea what and how people hear different things. If people don't like choral music (or any genre, for that matter) that's fine. I just don't think it's fair to judge music unless you truly know how to listen to it. I don't really like country, but working in a saloon-themed bar at the fair gave me new memories to go with it and a new appreciation for the music (as it was the only thing to listen to). That fair experience also made me hate a lot of pop music, as the Stratosphere ride blasted it at ungodly volumes less than 100 feet away from my kitchen. I was never a fan of rap (no pitches) until listening to Christian rap artist Agape at the Lutheran National Youth Gathering in New Orleans this past summer. This, combined with my many percussionist friends, led me to develop a new appreciation for rap. The often intricate rhythms, flowing lyrics, and intense vocal control needed are insane. Likewise, I feel there must be a key to open one's mind to choral and classical music. I don't know what that is, but I'll make it my quest to find it.
At the same time, I realize that I may be a...special case. I don't usually like loud things and high-intensity/stress environments. It physically hurts and drains me. I draw my energy from calm, quiet, and often secluded places (thus classifying me by some definitions as an introvert). I've always been sensitive to noise and volume. I developed perfect pitch somehow (maybe I was born with it, maybe not). I love birds for many reasons, and listen to the noises and calls they make. I like listening to what people have to say much more than I enjoy reading it - hearing the words they speak helps me to better understand what they're saying. I guess I'm just in tune with sound. With my senses of sight, taste, and smell dulled by the wonders of the gene pool, it makes sense that my sense of hearing would be better. But I don't always like it. I can't share it in a way that can help others hear what I hear. I wish I could.
This long ramble leads me to some questions:
1. What is your strongest sense?
2. How do you hear? (answer in any way you like)
3. What is your favorite/least favorite genre of music, and why?
4. Where do you get your energy? (I want to talk about this one later, so give me good stuff to use)
Hopefully this whole blogging thing takes deeper root in my already crowded mind. If I don't blog for a while, remind me to. My grade could use the boost, I'm sure.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
No Pain, No Gain (and vise versa)
I don't think you can get anything in life truly for free. If it seems something is free, it either means someone else did the work for you or you are going to/have already paid for it in some way. I've always believed in (and strove for) balance. That's why I don't feel so bad about MEA this year.
I had 7 teeth removed on Friday (4 wisdom, 3 babies) and am suffering from it. I can't really eat anything that requires chewing, and my mouth randomly likes to start bleeding. I also look like a gopher with swollen cheeks and have a sore jaw. I was also fed the wrong pill on Saturday, which resulted in 7 years' worth of nausea crammed into 7 hours. But hey - it could be worse (and yes, I did just use a dash. That's a blog post for another time). This ideology doesn't seem to fit me. I'm not really the most optimistic person about a lot of things, but for some reason certain aspects of life don't seem to bug me. Evidently medical stuff is one of them.
Back to the "main" point - do you believe in the phrase "no pain, no gain?" I was raised in a house with conflicting beliefs. My dad is the type who would throw the football at you and say "oh come on why didn't you catch that?" when you were barely bigger than the ball. My mom, as dad always jokes, believes in the "no pain, no pain" philosophy. I guess my philosophy is a random mix of the two. What's yours?
I had 7 teeth removed on Friday (4 wisdom, 3 babies) and am suffering from it. I can't really eat anything that requires chewing, and my mouth randomly likes to start bleeding. I also look like a gopher with swollen cheeks and have a sore jaw. I was also fed the wrong pill on Saturday, which resulted in 7 years' worth of nausea crammed into 7 hours. But hey - it could be worse (and yes, I did just use a dash. That's a blog post for another time). This ideology doesn't seem to fit me. I'm not really the most optimistic person about a lot of things, but for some reason certain aspects of life don't seem to bug me. Evidently medical stuff is one of them.
Back to the "main" point - do you believe in the phrase "no pain, no gain?" I was raised in a house with conflicting beliefs. My dad is the type who would throw the football at you and say "oh come on why didn't you catch that?" when you were barely bigger than the ball. My mom, as dad always jokes, believes in the "no pain, no pain" philosophy. I guess my philosophy is a random mix of the two. What's yours?
Friday, October 5, 2012
And Another Thing
I don't like school. It's really bad. I'm really bad. I'm really bad at it.
Since middle school, the daily grind of the education system had begun losing its luster. I didn't feel the same drive to do well. I certainly wanted to learn, but I didn't want to fill my head with pointless things. I also lost the desire to do homework - if we have to work for 7 hours at school, what right do teachers have to give us additional work? There needs to be a balance of personal and work time, along with time to sleep.
IB started junior year. It nearly killed me. I was signed up for 4 HL classes, and they were taking their toll. Calculus was the tombstone over my grave; a C- and D were surely a sign of failure. So I gave up. Mr. Tenold believed I had the capacity to do the work, but I didn't have the drive or the time. So I quit. I just couldn't manage it. Yet there are people who can not only do what I failed at, but thrive in it. This baffles me, and seems to be a sign of personal weakness.
Why am I bad at school? Why does it seem like a prison? And why do others do well in it?
Since middle school, the daily grind of the education system had begun losing its luster. I didn't feel the same drive to do well. I certainly wanted to learn, but I didn't want to fill my head with pointless things. I also lost the desire to do homework - if we have to work for 7 hours at school, what right do teachers have to give us additional work? There needs to be a balance of personal and work time, along with time to sleep.
IB started junior year. It nearly killed me. I was signed up for 4 HL classes, and they were taking their toll. Calculus was the tombstone over my grave; a C- and D were surely a sign of failure. So I gave up. Mr. Tenold believed I had the capacity to do the work, but I didn't have the drive or the time. So I quit. I just couldn't manage it. Yet there are people who can not only do what I failed at, but thrive in it. This baffles me, and seems to be a sign of personal weakness.
Why am I bad at school? Why does it seem like a prison? And why do others do well in it?
Now what was I going to do...?
I can't remember this. I don't know why. It seems that school days all blend together and are indistinguishable from each other - as if it's one big day. I don't really sleep much, so that could be part of it.
Certain things are easier for individuals to remember, and what these things are varies from individual to individual. For example - I can remember nearly every Magic card in the last 3 sets, but I can't remember to do a routine blog post. Why is that? Does it simply come down to a matter of what is more important to an individual? If so, I worry for myself and my GPA.
Certain things are easier for individuals to remember, and what these things are varies from individual to individual. For example - I can remember nearly every Magic card in the last 3 sets, but I can't remember to do a routine blog post. Why is that? Does it simply come down to a matter of what is more important to an individual? If so, I worry for myself and my GPA.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Smart Conversations
For the record, this was my idea to post about first. Kenzie took my idea (although it is fair, as she was a participant).
It's nice to be able to have conversations with people who disagree with you and not have any heads bitten off. While my friends watched (or fell asleep to) Captain America, I had the privilege of having one of the best political/philosophical conversations I've ever had. Kenzie, Dube and I certainly don't agree on every issue, but we did what most people seem to be unable to do - listen. Ingrid's mom listened to, and offered random bits of insight here and there. Here we were - 4 totally different people having intelligent conversation.
The question is, why can't more people do this? Or why is it so hard, at least? I feel that the shouting matches are defense mechanisms triggered by the fear of a person's own ideology being turned to nothing. Your thoughts?
It's nice to be able to have conversations with people who disagree with you and not have any heads bitten off. While my friends watched (or fell asleep to) Captain America, I had the privilege of having one of the best political/philosophical conversations I've ever had. Kenzie, Dube and I certainly don't agree on every issue, but we did what most people seem to be unable to do - listen. Ingrid's mom listened to, and offered random bits of insight here and there. Here we were - 4 totally different people having intelligent conversation.
The question is, why can't more people do this? Or why is it so hard, at least? I feel that the shouting matches are defense mechanisms triggered by the fear of a person's own ideology being turned to nothing. Your thoughts?
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Slow and Steady
I'm finally just now figuring out my blog and such. I've been reading other people's posts, and there's been some really cool stuff posted - I guess that's why were DipCans. Then I look at my pitiful 3 posts in 2 weeks. Slow and steady certainly doesn't seem to be winning the race.
Come on, Sam. Get in the game.
I disagree with the age-old saying - "slow and steady wins the race." It hasn't really won me any medals. When society and life move at a breathtakingly fast rate, there's no time. Due dates, timed tests, and the demands of society to be productive seem to make the phrase outdated. The tortoise of today has to compete with a supersonic hare in a Lambourgini with turbo. The poor tortoise can't possibly keep up. I'm definitely a tortoise in many ways - I do things slowly, and usually take a while to do them. I'm also a procrastinator - tripling the amount of time it takes to do anything. Hares (those people with high energy, focus, and motivation) thrive in the current system. I seem to be friends with a lot of hares. I'm just not one of them.
Many people, however, stick by the saying. They might look at things big picture. For example, they might say that persevering with all of the work is being the tortoise and being the slow and steady force to win the race. I suppose it all depends on how you look at it.
So what do you think? Is there still a chance for the tortoise? Or has the hare already run him over with the Lambourgini?
(In case you hadn't noticed, I use lots of weird metaphors. It ain't gettin' any better from here)
Come on, Sam. Get in the game.
I disagree with the age-old saying - "slow and steady wins the race." It hasn't really won me any medals. When society and life move at a breathtakingly fast rate, there's no time. Due dates, timed tests, and the demands of society to be productive seem to make the phrase outdated. The tortoise of today has to compete with a supersonic hare in a Lambourgini with turbo. The poor tortoise can't possibly keep up. I'm definitely a tortoise in many ways - I do things slowly, and usually take a while to do them. I'm also a procrastinator - tripling the amount of time it takes to do anything. Hares (those people with high energy, focus, and motivation) thrive in the current system. I seem to be friends with a lot of hares. I'm just not one of them.
Many people, however, stick by the saying. They might look at things big picture. For example, they might say that persevering with all of the work is being the tortoise and being the slow and steady force to win the race. I suppose it all depends on how you look at it.
So what do you think? Is there still a chance for the tortoise? Or has the hare already run him over with the Lambourgini?
(In case you hadn't noticed, I use lots of weird metaphors. It ain't gettin' any better from here)
It's All Relative
Time sucks.
It seems that everything fun and enjoyable passes at a faster rate than things that aren't enjoyable. The same class can seem to pass by in 5 minutes one day and 5 hours the next. It all seems strange to me. It seems to me that time moves sporadically, and yet there are standard units for measuring it. Could it be that time actually moves at fluctuating speeds, and moves differently for everyone? I've always thought it would be funny if it turned out everyone's universe was different from everyone else's. We live in a world of standardization - the irony would be jaw-dropping. I've always felt I see the world differently than everyone else. It seems everyone else feels that way too. Perhaps this means something...or I could be insane. I'd say it's a 50/50 shot either way.
It seems that everything fun and enjoyable passes at a faster rate than things that aren't enjoyable. The same class can seem to pass by in 5 minutes one day and 5 hours the next. It all seems strange to me. It seems to me that time moves sporadically, and yet there are standard units for measuring it. Could it be that time actually moves at fluctuating speeds, and moves differently for everyone? I've always thought it would be funny if it turned out everyone's universe was different from everyone else's. We live in a world of standardization - the irony would be jaw-dropping. I've always felt I see the world differently than everyone else. It seems everyone else feels that way too. Perhaps this means something...or I could be insane. I'd say it's a 50/50 shot either way.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Breaking Point
Can anyone really do everything?
It seems that we as students are increasingly expected to be able to balance larger amounts of activity into smaller windows of time. Practices and rehearsals for extra-curriculars conflict with outside-of-school activities (not to mention a job), and homework gets pushed back farther and farther. Everything demands that you make it your priority. Family and religious commitments are "not going to cut it," in the words of my friend Calvin's boss as he added an extra shift to Calvin's already busy schedule. With all of this, sleep is basically out of the question.
This seems so wrong to me. How can society expect us to be almost super-human in terms of our stamina and focus? We weren't made to be able to handle this, and shouldn't have to deal with it.
Your thoughts?
It seems that we as students are increasingly expected to be able to balance larger amounts of activity into smaller windows of time. Practices and rehearsals for extra-curriculars conflict with outside-of-school activities (not to mention a job), and homework gets pushed back farther and farther. Everything demands that you make it your priority. Family and religious commitments are "not going to cut it," in the words of my friend Calvin's boss as he added an extra shift to Calvin's already busy schedule. With all of this, sleep is basically out of the question.
This seems so wrong to me. How can society expect us to be almost super-human in terms of our stamina and focus? We weren't made to be able to handle this, and shouldn't have to deal with it.
Your thoughts?
Thursday, September 13, 2012
What a Waste
I don't do terribly in school. I have a solid A-/B+ average (it fluctuates based on my work ethic), and I've only taken 1 non-honors core class in high school. I'm generally good at learning. With an exceptionally lucky PSAT and ACT score and similar AP scores, I've received mail from lots of prestigious schools - often advertising inquiry fields. The problem is, I want to be a music major.
Is this a waste? Many would argue yes. I could actually contribute to the betterment of society if I were to go into something like medicine or engineering. I could make a difference in the lives of millions if I went into politics or law. Even being a banker would be a successful career. A bachelor in arts would NOT be helpful.
I'm wearing an All-State shirt and just had callbacks for the musical. I know what I want to do - I know what's in my heart.
The question becomes this - is it ethical to go into music when you could be just as good in a field that was actually helping people?
Is this a waste? Many would argue yes. I could actually contribute to the betterment of society if I were to go into something like medicine or engineering. I could make a difference in the lives of millions if I went into politics or law. Even being a banker would be a successful career. A bachelor in arts would NOT be helpful.
I'm wearing an All-State shirt and just had callbacks for the musical. I know what I want to do - I know what's in my heart.
The question becomes this - is it ethical to go into music when you could be just as good in a field that was actually helping people?
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